


Christmas Letters

by aph_pasta



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, Rarepair Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 00:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17152244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aph_pasta/pseuds/aph_pasta
Summary: Tolys is lovestruck the minute he sees Ivan, but he's much too shy to make any moves.





	Christmas Letters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nbmochi](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Nbmochi).



> Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoy your secret santa gift! I loosely used the prompts baking and ugly sweaters, but this plot kind of just created itself.

_ December 1st _

_ I have no idea how to write these things.  _ _ I guess it’s best to be honest. You were the first thing I noticed when I walked in. I guess I should have been looking at cakes, but I saw you behind the counter and I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone like you. You’re unique. You’re huge and I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone with eyes like yours, and I really don’t know what else to write, I’m not poetic. _

 

Tolys didn’t know how to describe the baker at Braginsky Pastries. He knew for a fact that he was the most handsome man he had ever seen. Anyone could see that. In fact, he wouldn’t have been surprised if the baker was already dating someone… or engaged, or married. He hadn’t seen a ring, but maybe he took it off for work.

 

He'd only seen him once, when he was picking up a cake for a friend's birthday, but once was enough for him to know for absolute certain that he had a thing for him. And of course, as soon as he’d known that he had a thing for him, he made the mistake of telling his roommate/best friend, Feliks, and he hadn’t heard the end of it. It started with teasing, Feliks pausing his knitting to ask him how his mystery baker crush was doing or trying to get him to admit that he’d dreamed about him the night before while he made him breakfast. Then, when he found out that Tolys had no intention of pursuing anything with the baker, Feliks had turned to begging and persuasion and all-out coercion. He constantly complained that he couldn’t sit by idly while Tolys was (as he put it) madly in love and not doing anything about it, and he constantly tried to push him into going back to the bakery and asking the baker on a date.

 

Tolys eventually caved partially, and started the letters- little anonymous notes that Feliks slipped into the bakery’s letterbox every morning on his way to work. He’d assured him that the baker would never know who wrote them, and through this, they would be able to figure out if the baker was single (to help Tolys get over his fear of rejection) and warm him up to the idea that someone was interested in him. Tolys decided to go along with it, thinking that after a while Feliks would calm down and leave him be, and he wouldn’t have to work himself up over a stupid crush on someone he’d never even properly met. 

 

_ December 2nd _

_ My roommate thinks my first letter was terrible, and that it wasn’t romantic enough, so I’m going to try to use his words. He thinks when I talk about your eyes, I should say something about the color, so I guess they look like lilacs and lavenders and violets, all of which I had to google to write this. Your eyes really do look like those flowers, though. _

 

_ December 3rd _

_ I wish I could write to you well. I read a lot, and in all my favorite books, when the author describes someone beautiful or handsome or even just likeable, they do it so well that you can imagine you’re sitting right there with that person. I wish I could describe you like that, but what I think in my head won’t come out the same way on paper. I recently read  _ _ A Man Called Ove _ _ and the characters were described so well. I think it’s definitely going on my list of favorite books. I wonder what your favorite book is, or if you even like to read. _

 

Ivan had almost passed right over the first letter. He had yet to pick up the habit of checking the mail every day, since he usually only recieved things at the bakery that he’d ordered and was therefore expecting, but a slip of paper had caught his eye, and he’d yanked it out from where it had been wedged into the side of the little wooden box. Inside the bakery, he’d smoothed it out on the countertop and read it not once or twice, but three times in its entirety, then spent a little while just admiring the small, scratchy handwriting, and the way it had been written, as though its author had just put all of his thoughts down at once.

 

He hadn’t expected a second letter, though, or much less a third. He also hadn’t expected the third one to ask him a question that he was immediately tempted to answer. He didn’t know who to answer to, since he never saw who brought the letters, but after some thought, he penned out a response, and left the slip of paper clamped under the top of the letterbox, with ‘to my secret admirer’ written clearly on the front.

 

_ December 4th _

_ I got your note. I also really like  _ _ The Brothers Karamozov _ _ , I read it for the first time in university, and then once more for pleasure. I’d like to read it again in Russian, but my spoken knowledge of the language is much better than my ability to read it. The only languages I’m completely fluent in are Lithuanian and English, but I’d like to learn more. I love reading in other languages, since there are so many ways to say the same thing, and I think literature is most beautiful when it’s in its original language. I noticed that the writing on the door of the bakery was in English and Russian. Do you speak Russian? _

 

On the morning of December 5th, as he left off Tolys’s next note, Feliks found a book set on top of the letterbox, wrapped in a plastic grocery bag to protect it from the snow. It was clearly marked with sharpie ‘FOR SECRET ADMIRER’ and he smiled as he slipped it into his bag, leaving a neatly folded piece of notebook paper in its place.

 

He gave the book to Tolys as soon as he got home, and he didn’t think he’d ever seen his roommate so happy. Tolys gently slid off the bag to reveal an abridged copy of  The Brothers Karamozov , in Russian. When he opened the cover, a note fell out into his lap. It was written on yellow legal paper, in the same beautifully messy writing that had come with the baker’s first response. There were only five words, but they were all he’d ever needed: you can borrow my copy.

 

_ December 6th _

_ Thank you so much for lending me your book. I started it last night, and I’m making progress slowly but surely. I think the most difficult thing about reading in Russian is the cyrillic alphabet. It’s very beautiful, but I feel like I have to switch my entire way of thinking to read it, since I’m so used to the latin alphabet. In return, you can borrow this. It’s one of my favorite books:  _ _ Fahrenheit 451 _ _. _

 

Every day, Tolys dedicated the hour before he went to bed to the baker’s book. He struggled with it, often having to flip through his Russian dictionary and search for an unknown word, but he enjoyed it immensely. There was always the reminder in the back of his head, though, that the book was borrowed- which meant he had to give it back. Yes, he could just leave it in the letterbox, but then he wouldn’t be able to express his gratefulness or tell him every little thing he liked about the book, like he would when borrowing one from one of his friends or classmates. 

 

He expressed this to Feliks one evening, while they were sitting on the couch after dinner. His roommate had looked up from his knitting with a wicked grin on his face, an expression that he’d learned meant danger. Feliks only smiled that way when he had some crazy plan cooking up, like when he’d first gotten Tolys into this mess. 

 

“You are so gonna have to reveal yourself!” he said, letting out a little snort of a laugh at the expression on Tolys’s face. He didn’t know whether to be nervous or horrified or scared, so he’d settled for all three. “You’re gonna have to go into the bakery with that book and tell him you’ve been sending those letters, and like he’s gonna think it’s so cute when you’re all blushy and nervous, and he’s so gonna want to date you!”

 

“No!” Tolys pressed his lips shut as soon as the word had escaped. His cheeks had turned red and he could feel warmth creeping up his face. “I mean…” he sighed and shook his head and curled his legs up to his chest. He’d never been very good at talking about things like this, but at least Feliks could see that he wasn’t in a joking mood and held off on any further comments. “I like him and I want to have something with him… I mean, I really got myself into this and now I can’t get out of it, so it’s best that I go the whole nine yards,” he paused and ran a hand through his hair, letting it rest at the back of his head. “But I’m still nervous. I don’t know him. I don’t know his personality, I don’t know about his life, for all I know he could be married with ten children.”

 

Feliks had laughed at that. “If he had ten children, he’d be making them help out at the bakery. Besides, I doubt he would have responded to your notes or lent you his book if he was in a relationship. You’re getting all worked up over nothing.” When he was done speaking, Feliks went back to the sweater he was knitting. He did another two rows, humming softly as he worked, before he held it up. “What do you think?” he asked, prompting Tolys to look up from the note he’d been working on.

 

“It’s uh, it’s interesting,” he replied, raising an eyebrow. Feliks’s creation certainly was, in all it’s pink, sparkly glory, quite interesting. “Is that a reindeer?” he pointed at the large animal-shaped splotch of purple on the front.

 

Feliks nodded, smiling as though he hadn’t noticed Tolys’s hesitation and avoidance of anything that sounded too much like a compliment. “It’s for you.”

 

“Oh… great.”

 

_ December 10th _

_ My roommate made me a sweater. He likes to knit in his spare time, and our entire apartment is covered in little things he’s made. The sweater’s pink and purple, because according to him those colors look good on me. I kind of think he just wants an excuse to make me look ridiculous. I’ll wear it around at home so I don’t hurt his feelings. _

 

_ December 14th _

_ We’ve finally finished decorating for Christmas. My roommate likes to go all out, so he put up lights and garlands and baubles everywhere. I just helped with the tree and put a wreath outside the door. I don’t see that much of a point in putting a ton of effort into decorating if we’re going to have to put it all away right after Christmas is over, but it makes my roommate happy, so I’ll do it for him. I saw that you put some lights up at the bakery and there’s some Christmas-y cakes in the windows. I especially like the tree one, it’s really beautiful. Have you decorated at home? Do you have any roommates who helped you out? _

 

A pile of letters had begun to accumulate on Ivan’s desk. He’d set the book next to that, and if there was a slow day at the bakery without many customers, he’d sit down behind the counter and read. Unfortunately, as it got closer and closer to Christmas, he had less and less time to himself. He was constantly taking orders and preparing frostings and doughs to be thawed for when the cakes and cookies were to be made. He managed to find five minutes every few days, though, to write a little response to his secret admirer and leave it in the letterbox. He told him about his two sisters, who lived with him and helped out at the bakery around the holidays, when he was extremely busy. He wrote about the colorful little nesting doll ornaments that had been in his family for generations, and how he and his sisters would set aside an evening to eat together and decorate the tree.

 

The secret admirer had mentioned in one of the letters that he’d seen the decorations and cakes in the bakery, so Ivan started paying more attention to the people that came in. He didn’t know anything whatsoever about his secret admirer. He had no idea what they looked like, which meant that every single person who entered could possibly be them. Ivan started trying to have conversations with his customers, asking about books they’d read or authors they liked or Christmas sweaters, but it didn’t seem like anyone he spoke to was the secret admirer. 

 

Ivan found himself constantly thinking about this mystery person, trying to figure out what they were like. He’d decided that they had to be shorter than him, because he still had yet to find someone who wasn’t. He couldn’t decide on what their face looked like, though, or what their voice sounded like, and that bothered him. Ivan decided he’d just have to try harder to find them.

 

_ December 18th _

_ My weeklong vacation from work starts tomorrow, and I’ll be very glad to get some rest. I’m a secretary for a tax accountant, and I’m lucky to be able to say that I really like my job. My boss treats me well, and he’s taking me out for lunch today for the holidays. I always have a lot to do, though, and even have to bring work home sometimes.  _

 

_ December 20th _

_ What are your plans for Christmas? Are you going to be spending it with your sisters? I’m planning on going to the midnight mass with my roommate, though I’m not very religious myself. We’re having some friends over for lunch on Christmas day, and my brothers are going to try to visit with us for a half hour or so, but they both have other things planned. I finished gift shopping yesterday, so now I just have to wrap everything and put it under the tree. I got new knitting needles and yarn for my roommate and money for both of my brothers, since I recall that that was the best present I could possibly get while I was a student. _

 

Feliks found it odd that the lights were on in the bakery. It was 6:55, and the bakery wasn’t supposed to open until 9:00, but he assumed that someone had just forgotten to turn them off. He kept walking up to the front, pausing in front of the letterbox so he could search for Tolys’s note in his bag. A bell jingled and he looked up to see and extremely tall, large man smiling down at him.

 

“I found you!” he said in a slightly singsong voice and Feliks took a step back.

 

“What?”

 

“I found you. You’re the secret admirer.”

 

Feliks couldn’t hold back laughter. “Me? No no no, I’m his messenger. Your secret admirer’s like, way too shy to leave off his own letters.”

 

The man raised his eyebrows, taking in the new information. His secret admirer was too shy to leave off his own letters. He thought that was absolutely adorable. He looked over the man in front of him, noticing a sparkly pink sweater peeking out from under his jacket. “Oh, so you are the roommate?”

 

Feliks nodded. “Yeah. And you are?”

 

“Ivan. Ivan Braginsky,” he stuck out a massive hand and shook Feliks’s. “Please tell my secret admirer that he does not need to feel shy. I like his letters. I want to meet him,” he said, which earned another nod from Feliks.

 

“I’ve been telling him that he’s like, getting all nervous for no reason. I’ll make sure to tell him what you said.”

 

Ivan smiled wider, and patted Feliks’s shoulder. “Thank you,” he said, and with that, he turned around and walked right back into the bakery. It took a few moments for Feliks to collect his thoughts, before he fished Tolys’s letter out from his bag and left it in the letterbox.

 

_ December 21st _

_ My roommate told me that he met you when he was dropping off my letter, and he told me what you said. I know there’s no reason for me to be so nervous or shy. I’m going to try to be more bold. _

 

“I’m going to do it?”

 

“What?”

 

Tolys cleared his throat. “I’m going to go and talk to Ivan.”

 

Feliks dropped the knitting needles he was holding, his mouth open in shock. “You’re really going to talk to him?” He waited for Tolys’s nod of confirmation, before jumping up and running across the living room to hug him. “Oh my god you’re actually going to talk to him!”

 

Tolys chuckled softly and gave another nod, then gently pushed his hands against Feliks’s shoulders so he would stop hugging him. “I’ve got to leave now. The bakery’s closing early since today’s Christmas Eve.” He got Feliks to get off of him, and stood up from the couch. He’d been preparing all day for this, even writing one final note to give to the baker in person. He picked up the note as he walked towards the door to get his coat, slipping it into the cover of the book Ivan had lent him. 

 

The bakery wasn’t very far away, only about a five minute walk. When Tolys got there, there was a line stretching out the door, full of people getting cakes and sweets for Christmas. He joined the queue, nervously running his thumbs over the embossed letters on the book cover. The line moved quite fast, but in Tolys’s mind, it was slower than a sloth. His heart was pounding from nervousness, and his stomach felt as though it had been twisted into a knot.

 

When Tolys reached the front of the line, he looked up and found himself staring right at the baker- at Ivan. He was much taller than he’d expected him to be, and his eyes were beautiful up close and he was smiling, and Tolys realized he was staring and looked back down, a blush creeping up onto his cheeks.

 

“What is the name for your order?” Ivan asked. 

 

Tolys looked back up at him, and felt his heart pound even harder as he said, “I’m not here for an order.” He paused, running his thumb over the letters once more. “I wanted to give you your book back. I enjoyed it very much.” He set the book on the counter with trembling hands, before stuffing them in his pockets and looking down at his shoes.

 

For a moment, Ivan couldn’t speak. He looked over the book, then the man in front of him, smile getting even larger. “You are my secret admirer! I was worried you would never find the courage to come talk to me!”

 

Tolys’s face got even redder. “I was worried too,” he admitted. “I couldn’t just keep sending you letters and never do anything, though.”

 

“Thank you. I liked your letters, they were very sweet. Now that I’ve met you, though, I do not just want letters. I want to spend time with you,” Ivan reached out and touched his fingertips to Tolys’s chin, tilting his head up so he could see his face.

 

“Are you… asking me out on a date?”

 

“Yes, I am.”

 

Tolys smiled, happy and relieved and full of so many other amazing emotions. “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

 

_ December 24th _

_ I hope this goes well. I really want to get to know you better and I want to spend time with you. I want to know more about your sisters and about the books you like.  _

 

_ Merry Christmas _

_ -Tolys _


End file.
